The truth behind the veil

There is a growing Islamic movement today, in the Muslim Community; to revive the Muslims intellectually back to Islam as their source of guidance. This is marked by the number of sisters wearing the hijaab (veil). The hijaab has been the focus of western propaganda against Islam for centuries. It was labelled as “extremist”, “fundamentalist”, and “oppressive”. However this is not the case in reality today, the veil is not usually forced on the woman she chooses to wear it herself. What comes as a shock to the western media is that so many young women are turning to Islam despite such negativity surrounding the matter. It was shown that 2 out of 3 converts to Islam are young women aged between the ages 17-21. The figure is estimated at 20-30,000 over the last few years. The sad thing is that we find many women, Muslim by birth, claiming to believe in Islam, but making numerous excuses for not wearing the hijaab in fact some sisters go as far as forcefully stopping their own daughters from wearing the veil! Some “Muslim” women even deny that it is a religious duty!!

 

The excuses number many, some say it does not matter what is on the outside, it only matters what is in the heart. Some say it is not practical for various reasons (work, education, etc.). There are other Muslims who are so affected by the western media that they themselves do the job for them by calling it extreme etc. And say that Islam promotes being moderate, in the middle, therefore the veil not necessary as it seems too radical. Some Muslim women are just worried what people in general will say about them wearing the hijaab. We as Muslims are looking for an answer to this issue. As we are Muslim and we believe in Allah, we should refer to Allah (swt) and consider what really matters to Him alone. At the end of the day, if we all had good thoughts inside our hearts to please Allah, but never actually put what is in our hearts into action, we would be of no value. In Islam you can have goodness in your heart, but if you do not put it into action then it is worthless, as actions are part of Eemaan. Goodness is not enough, what may be good to one person may not be good to another, so goodness in the heart is not only the issue, but what defines good and bad, how we rule our lives is:

 

“Those who do not rule by what Allah has revealed, they are the wrong-doers.” (EMQ 5: 45)

 

We can see that Allah is the one who decides what is best for us, as he created us and the whole universe, he knows us more than anything else, so anything he prescribes for us should be taken without question, that is why He is the Lord and we are the servants. Even if it may seem ‘extreme’ to some people, you can call Allah’s law extreme as much as you like, but He is still your creator, who should be obeyed. We have not been created to ‘think’ this is good or that is ok. Allah (swt) has set everything out for us and has given us a framework, Islam, to define all those issues for us. ‘Extreme’ is a word which has no real meaning, as what may seem extreme to one society may not be extreme to another. Therefore we should not call what Allah has revealed extreme, as He wanted us Muslims to build a society where the laws of Islam are normal and without to think Allah is asking too much of us and to exhaust utmost effort to be obedient to Allah is ‘extreme’. What is meant by “do not be extremist in Islam” is do not go over the top in one thing in Islam e.g. if you are told to pray 5 times a day, you are not asked to pray all day and ignore all other duties in life, or you do not fast 48 hours continuously, only fast or pray the recommended and compulsory amounts. “Do not be extremist” did not mean judge according to a non-Islamic society that views Islamic rules as extreme, if this was the case then if praying was seen as extreme by the society in which we live, do you stop praying? So what is the prescribed amount for covering a woman in Islam? Is a veil really considered ‘extreme’ in Islam?

 

“O prophet, tell your wives and daughters and all other believing women that they should draw their veils close round them. That is proper, so that they may be recognised (as decent women) and not be molested.” (EMQ 33: 59)

 

It is narrated by ‘Aa-ishah (ra) that Asmaa; (daughter of Abu Bakr [ra]) came to see the prophet wearing a thin dress. The prophet (saw) turned away from her and said, “O Asmaa! When a woman reaches puberty she cannot reveal any part of her body except this and this (pointing to his hands and face).” [Narrated by Abou Daawood]

 

“Tell all the believing women to turn their eyes away from temptation and to preserve their chastity; to cover their adornments (except what is normally displayed: hands and face); to draw their veil over their bosoms and not to reveal their finery except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sisters sons, their women servants, and their slave-girls; male attendants lacking in natural vigour, and their children who have no carnal knowledge of women.” (EMQ 24: 31)

 

It is clear that the wearing of the veil is fard (a religious obligation and a must) and Muslims should not fear anyone when it comes to their duties, even if it means losing their job or friends. What kind of boss/friend do you have if they can not accept the right to practice your belief? Only Allah should be feared, not anyone else:

 

“O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared” (EMQ 3: 102)

 

“O you who believe! you obey those who disbelieve, they will cause you to turn back on your heals, so you shall turn about as losers.” (EMQ 3: 149)

 

“If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your tribes, the property you have acquired, the merchandise you fear may not be sold, and the homes you love, are dearer to you than Allah, His apostle and the struggle for His cause, then wait until Allah fulfils His decree. Allah does not guide the evil doers” (EMQ 9: 24)

 

The west always boasts about its ‘freedom’, and ‘equality’ but where does it go when it comes to Islam? Where does this ‘freedom’ go when a man and woman want to walk down the street topless; the man would be okay, but the woman arrested for indecent exposure (not that I am saying the woman has the right to go out topless!). Islam does not contradict itself, we know we are restricted by Islam but we know the rules come from our creator, not the limited mind of a man. If we look at anything in creation, we see that it always has something to protect it from harm or decay e.g. fruit skin, pearls, shells. Even human beings protect valuable things like diamond, away from the sight and touch of others. Is it not natural that the beauty of a woman should be protected from the gaze of foreign men? Consider the rape reported every 17 minuets in Britain. The plan of men in power is to exploit women’s beauty to sell their commercial products e.g., girl in Flake ad and super-models (on average 1/3rd under the recommended weight) are used to exploit women to help the fashion and beauty industry make money. Plastic surgery is the fastest growing branch of surgery in the world! The results are clear: Anorexia, Bulimia, suicide and constant worry about your figure etc. The veil protects women from this onslaught. If a doctor were to order a woman to cover herself from the sun she would do it, but why not when Allah gives the orders? Allah knows more about us than the doctor! If you are working for a particular company, which requires a certain dress, surely people would wear the dress for that job, why not when you are ordered by Allah?

 

“It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows you know not” (EMQ 2: 216)

 

“It is not for true believers men or women to take a choice in their affairs, if Allah and His apostle decree otherwise.” (EMQ 33: 36)

To the wives of the Duaat

Oh wives of the Da’ees (those who work day and night calling to Islam) fear Allah and be firm and patient. Verily you are the cause of the success of your husband’s da’wah and the cause of its decline.

 

There is a saying that behind every great man is a great woman. Many people differ about this parable, between those in support of it and those who appose it. I believe we all must agree about the importance of the wife in the life of her husband and the fact she has a role that if fulfilled, the boat of da’wah will sail peacefully and successfully. For this reason we find the Messenger Muhammad (saw) emphasised on the importance of the woman in more than just one place. He encouraged the Muslim man about the necessity to look for a wife with good Deen (practicing woman), who fears Allah in her relationship with her husband, at his home and with his children.

 

I believe nobody will differ with me if I say that the Da’ees are so needy for a unique, sophisticated, special, and magnificent wife unlike any other, who will stand by him through hardship and ease, supporting him, staying at his home helping him to fulfil his roles and responsibilities, encouraging him to carry da’wah more and more and to fulfil his mission.

 

The wife of a Da’ee needs to have these qualities because:

 

The da’ee is different from any other man. His time schedule is not like any others, nor is his concern like the concern of others. Therefore his actions and efforts will inevitably be different from the actions of other men. An average man’s concerns are nothing but his own personal concerns such as food, clothes and shelter. Whereas the da’ees concerns do not stop to the limit of only a house, food and children but rather his concerns escalates to the level of being concerned about the recovery of the Ummah, to live her concerns and suffering and working actively to change that reality from a state of fear to a state of peace.

 

The normal man does not have any concerns but to seek his provision and to enter happiness into the hearts of his family by fulfilling their wishes. Whereas the work and concerns of the da’ee will be multiplied and increased to the limit that he will have very little time left to his wife or to his own children, not to mention to be concerned about his health and wealth to a level where his wife may believe that he is neglecting her as he is so busy with the affairs of the Muslim Ummah, more than his own family affairs. Therefore if a Muslim woman does not support her husband who is a da’ee nor does she have an extra talent that distinguishes her from any other woman, who looks to the concerns and visions of her husband and how much it is more important than any other concern, then no doubt her husband’s ship will face a huge struggle to sail in the ocean of difficulties from the enemies, opponents and disbelievers. And that will be the first nail in their relationship.

 

Excuse me if I put an example that could relate to you but I do not mean a particular person. Let us imagine a da’ee who comes back to his home after a hard days work, exhausting himself for the sake of calling people to Islam, commanding good and forbidding evil and elevating this Ummah for the sake of Allah. Suddenly he finds that when he arrives home, there is a woman who declares her rejection, moaning and complaining about the long time she spends on her own at home or repeats in his ears the same list of complaints and demands and throws them over his head without to bother about the damage that could happen to him, their relationship or the da’wah.

 

Let us imagine a woman who looks in the face of her husband for a long time and yet she is surprised about the thoughts and ideas that he carries and the amount of energy he has that makes him look after the affairs of the Ummah, which doesn’t concern her at all. I have seen these women who put obstacles in the path of her husband, discouraging him and destroying his will and determination. Moreover she will make him withdraw his concerns, zeal and energy regarding his Deen and the Muslim Ummah and will start to work actively in disperse, discouraging him by letting him down and watering down his responsibilities, which will cause him to have depression. Moreover she will request and demand her husband to do things that are not important, very difficult or nearly impossible to do.

 

The difficulties and the dangers which will occur in the way, the bloody arrows which have been shot towards his chest and all other attacks from all directions will make him seriously need to have beside him a wife that understands the needs of the level of da’wah which he is at, to be patient with him, firm and supportive in his way which is full of thorns, hardship and pain. She must be patient, firm and realise that her husband is not the first and only one who walks on this path full of mines and thorns; rather history is full of men who have paid blood as a price for the da’wah and the Deen of Islam.

 

She must also realise that not all the harm and threats surrounding her husband means he has failed the battle, rather victory could be hiding itself in the form of loss and it may surprise people by the ideas and thoughts that come out from the mouth of the da’ee and goes beyond all obstacles to spread and be implemented as-well as break all barriers. Therefore if a da’ee does not have at his home a wise and mature woman that believes in what he believes in, then no doubt his home will miss its main cause of family stability, which may affect the behaviour of every member of the household, male or female.

 

There is no doubt that a da’ee, whose concern is about the Muslim Ummah and challenges the Pharaoh in authority is going to be so busy to the level where he will rarely have time for his own children as he will be too busy teaching the children of the Ummah and therefore have no time to teach his own. Definitely he is needy for a believing mother (for his children) that is unique and carries with him all the responsibilities to reform the children and to look after them during the absence of their own father, which inevitably will happen many times.

 

We only need to look at some of the top Mujaahideen from among the Sahabah and Tabi’een who had children yet did not see them except in very rare occasions, whereas others did not see them at all as the father was too busy on the da’wah field or battle field whilst his wife was delivering a baby.

 

This will give the women extra certainty that a da’ee is needy for a woman so unique who is not like any other woman. In edition, the wife of the da’ee is needy for special nurturing that enables her to pass the obstacles, duties and responsibilities that are going to face her by standing firm. This will push the husband for the continuity of his activities in order to help him in his own struggle, especially as we are living in a time where to stand firm to what you believe in is strange or unusual, and those affected by defeatism (compromisers, hypocrites etc.) do not want to do anything. Beyond doubt, a da’ee deserves to have a special wife who gives him tranquillity, love and shelter.

 

Dear Muslim sisters, you are the hope of your da’ee husband to carry the responsibilities from his shoulders and enable him to be fit and go out to the da’wah field or jihad without to be concerned about his responsibilities towards you and his children by being firm, patient, supportive and appreciative and accepting any destiny that Allah has designated for you and for the test which Allah inflicts upon you by having a da’ee husband. Verily if you become patient on the path of Haq (truth) you will get the maximum amount of reward from almighty Allah.

 

Dear Muslim sister, I can summarise to you my advice in 4 main points:

 

Make Khadijah (ra) your example and leading role model who was a strong right hand for her husband and a firm gentle touch to our Messenger which enabled him to carry his message to mankind. Khadijah supported him, believed in him, covered him and said to him her famous statement: ‘By Allah! Allah will never let you down because you are the one who maintains the blood relationship, carry heavy responsibilities, help the needy, support the weak, command the good and forbid the evil and challenge all the corruption in society.’

 

Wake up in the night time and throw the arrows of the dark night at sehri time by supplicating to your Lord and ask him to protect your husband and all the da’ees and to make them firm, victorious, have ‘izza and support.

 

Keep yourself busy by nurturing the children of your husband, provide the best knowledge and good deeds that makes them full of taqwa and Imaan and plant in them that the conviction their father stands for is the truth, and encourage them to do the same thing as their father.

 

Dear Muslim sisters, if your husband is a da’ee be proud that your husband carries the truth and be confident that the banners of Haq he carries will never fall down even if he does.

Women in Da’wah

From the very beginning, women have played vital roles in the propagation of the fundamental truths of Islamic da’wah.  From the sacrifices of Sumayyah (ra) to the collected ahaadeeth of ‘Aa-ishah (ra), women have been instrumental in the flourishing and spreading of the Deen.  Allaah (swt) also raises the status of the daa’ies and commends them highly in the Qur’aan as He (swt) states: “Who is better in speech than the one who calls to Allaah?”

 

Da’wah to Allaah (swt) is a duty on every Muslim in every age, and in our time this da’wah is particularly important in light of the vicious attacks the enemies of Allaah (swt) are waging to remove the importance of da’wah from the hearts of Muslims.Allaah (swt) does not restrict the da’wah to men alone but refers to the entire Ummah of Muhammad (saw) when He says, “Invite to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islaam) with Hikmah (divine evidences), and argue with them in a way that is better.” (EMQ 16: 125)

 

Therefore, the women, just like the men should call to Allaah (swt) and command the good and forbid the evil in ways and etiquettes prescribed by the Sharee’ah.

 

In the time of the Messenger Muhammad (saw), women took their role as daa’iyahs seriously.  It is narrated by Abu Sa’eed (ra) that the women used to approach the Prophet (saw) and say, “The men are keeping you busy and we do not get enough attention from you, would you specify a day for us?”  He (saw) promised them a day to meet with them and educate them (al-Bukhaari).  Furthermore, the Messenger (saw), when addressing the people used to say, “Let the one who is present convey what he has heard to the one who is absent” (al-Bukhaari).  This indicates that as well as teaching the women he ordered them to spread what they had heard.

 

We need to look at the wider circle and realise that history bares testimony to the fact that women played a great role in conveying the Deen of Islaam.  Sumayyah (ra) gave up her life when Abu Jahl killed her for embracing Islaam.  She was the first Muslim, and woman martyred for the sake of her Deen.  Khadeejah (ra), the first wife of Muhammad (saw), who was very rich, spent all of her money to support the Da’wah.  Ummu Salamah (ra) left her husband and saw her children persecuted when she migrated.  Umm Imarah (ra) fought in defence of the Prophet (saw) in the Battle of Uhud.

 

One must understand the emphasis of this obligation and act as a messenger for the Messenger (saw) in order to convey Islaam and not remain silent and passive, as Allaah (swt) says, “Verily, those who conceal the clear proofs, evidences and the guidance which we have sent down after We have made it clear for the people in the book, they are ones cursed by Allaah…” (EMQ 2: 159)

The role of the wife in Islaam

The blessed Prophet (saw) said, “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of provision in this world is the pious woman.”

In Islaam, the wife plays a pivotal role in married life and her role necessitates that she possess certain qualities, thus making her a good wife. Her thoughts, speech, actions and inclinations are all for the sake of gaining the pleasure of Allaah (swt), The Lord of the Universe. When a wife seeks to please her husband, ultimately it is the pleasure of Allaah (swt) that she wishes to seek. The qualities that a wife should possess, which are liked by her Creator have been outlined in Soorah al-Ahzaab. The Muslim woman is a true woman, humble, patient, constant, guards her modesty in her husband’s absence, maintains integrity in times of adversity and prosperity and engages much in the praise of Allaah (swt).

When a Muslim wife marries she must understand that she has certain roles and responsibilities in Islaam, which are unique by her Creator.  Allaah (swt) has made women different to men as mentioned in the Noble Qur’aan, “And wish not for the things which Allaah (swt) has made some of you excel others and for men there is reward for what they have earned and likewise for women there is reward for what they have earned, ask Allaah of His bounty, surely, Allaah is ever All-Knower of everything.” (EMQ-4:32).

We can see from this aayah that Allaah (swt) has made clear distinction between a man and a woman’s role and it is not lawful for a man or woman to question the defined roles as Allaah (swt) says, “It is not lawful for a man or woman when Allaah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should have a say over it.” (EMQ 33: 36)

Hence the Muslim wife being the true servant of Allaah (swt) will serve her husband according to the principles of the Sharee’ah (Islamic law), and in return the husband has certain duties he must fulfil towards his wife.

Among other rights, the wife has the right to Nafaqah, which is food, clothing and shelter, from her husband. He is obliged to spend from his wealth for it even if she possesses her own wealth. The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said, “Your wives have a right on you that you provide them with food, clothing and shelter in a fitting manner.” (Muslim)

It is important to note that when the wife carries out her duties towards her husband, she does it as an act of submission to her Creator; hence her reward is from her Creator. The Prophet (saw) loved his wives for their piety. ‘Aa-ishah (ra) once narrated the fine qualities of Zaynab (ra), the seventh wife of the Prophet (saw): “Zaynab was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allaah’s Messenger and I have never seen a woman more advanced in piety than Zaynab, more god-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allaah.”

Such great Muslim women are examples for us, worthy of emulation, from which a Muslim woman can learn purity, strength of character, soundness of belief and wisdom. For emulation of the Mothers of Paradise can only lead us to the bounty of paradise (inshaa-Allaah).

Abu Nu’aym narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, “When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter paradise by any of the gates she wishes.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Muwatta’ and Musnad of Imaam Ahmad).

 

Life of Umm Amaarah, Nusaybah

During the life of the Messenger Muhammad (saw) there were many women who pledged their lives, wealth and family for the sake of Allaah (swt). One such woman who comes to mind is Nusaybah Umm Imarah (ra) who was an important Sahaabiyah and a great fighter in Allaah’s cause. Nusaybah (ra) was righteous and devoted to exerting herself for Allaah (swt)’s sake. She was present at the second pledge of al-’Aqabah at which she swore allegiance to the Messenger Muhammad (saw). Nusaybah was also present at the Battle of Uhud with her husband and her two sons. Her intention had been to give water and tend to the wounded but Allaah (swt) had planned and prepared for her a more rewarding role.

Initially in the Battle of Uhud the Muslims had the upper hand but then they committed a fatal error, seeing the Quraysh on the retreat, they ran towards the booty, ignoring the Messenger Muhammad (saw)’s command to stay on the hill. Khaalid bin Waleed (who had not yet embraced Islaam) took control of the situation and made a charge against the Muslims and suddenly the Quraysh had the advantage.

Nusaybah (ra) participated in the battle physically, as the occasion demanded when the Muslims were being defeated. When the Messenger Muhammad (saw) was being attacked Nusaybah (ra) formed part of the human shield which protected our Messenger (saw). Even when her son ‘Abdullaah was wounded and his blood began to flow she was totally oblivious to his condition until Muhammad (saw) instructed: ‘bandage your wounded’. After dealing with his injury she said to him, ‘rise and fight the people’. Nusaybah (ra) showed great strength, perseverance and courage. The Messenger of Allaah (saw) showed great pleasure on seeing her determination and valour. On seeing this Nusaybah (ra) earnestly requested Muhammad (saw) to ask Allaah (swt) to make her family his companions in the garden. In this battle she was wounded thirteen times and one wound took one year to heal. This was the desire of Umm Imarah (ra) after which she said that she did not care what afflicted her in this world.

Nusaybah’s courageous character earned her the respect of all the Companions, especially the Khaleefs who would visit her and pay special attention to her. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (ra) narrated that on the day of Uhud I heard the Messenger (saw) say, ‘Whenever I looked to the right or left, I saw Umm Imarah fighting in front of me.’

During the time of Abu Bakr as-Siddeeq’s (ra) Khilaafah (Islamic rule), Nusaybah Umm Imarah (ra) went to seek permission to join the expedition of Khaalid bin Walid against Musaylamah al-Kadh-dhaab (The Liar), who claimed to be a Prophet in the battle of Yamaamah. Abu Bakr (ra) said, ‘we know your worth in war, so go out in the name of Allaah.’ She was wounded in eleven different places and had her hand cut off. Her son Habeeb was martyred. After the battle was over it was Khaalid ibn Waleed who came to treat her hand with hot oil to seal the wound and stop her bleeding. The hot oil was even more painful than having her hand cut off.

This is the life of Nusaybah Umm Imarah, the warrior who stood firm when many fled, who sent her wounded son back into the thick of the battle, and was prepared to lose her own life to save the life of the Messenger Muhammad (saw). In return, she received the du’aa of the Messenger Muhammad’s (saw) companionship in Paradise.

The question we need to ask ourselves today is whether we as Muslim Women would show such courage, self-sacrifice and perseverance in the face of struggle and would any of us be willing to die for the sake of Allaah (swt) alone? Al-Hamdu lillaah we have these great Sahaabiyaat to take as examples and to learn from the struggle they went through to seek none but Allaah (swt)’s pleasure.   

Life of Umm Sulaym

Even before Islaam was introduced to Yathrib (Madeenah), Rumaysaa bint Milhaan (ra) was known for her excellent character, the power of her intellect and her independent attitude of mind. She was known by various names including Rumaysaa and Ghumaysaa, but these were possibly nicknames. One historian says that her real name was Sahlah but later she was popularly known as Umm Sulaym. Umm Sulaym (ra) was first married to Maalik ibn an-Nadr and her son by this marriage was the famous Anas bin Maalik, one of the great Companions of the Messenger Muhammad (saw).

Umm Sulaym (ra) was one of the first women of Madeenah to accept Islaam. She was influenced by the refined, dedicated and persuasive Mus’ab ibn ‘Umayr (ra) who was sent out as the first missionary or ambassador of Islaam by the noble Messenger of Allaah (saw). This was after the first pledge of al-’Aqabah. Twelve men of Madeenah had gone to al-’Aqabah on the outskirts of Makkah to pledge loyalty to the Messenger of Allaah (saw). This was the first major breakthrough for the mission of Muhammad (saw) for many years.

Umm Sulaym’s decision to accept Islaam was made without the knowledge or consent of her husband, Maalik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent from Madeenah at the time and when he returned he felt some change had come over his household. Maalik was not pleased when his wife announced her acceptance of Islaam and that she had instructed her son Anas in the teachings and practice of the new faith. Umm Sulaym’s husband was now furious. He shouted at her, ‘don’t corrupt my son!’ She firmly replied: ‘I am not corrupting him!’ Her husband then left the house and it is reported that he was set upon by an enemy of his and was killed. The news shocked but apparently did not upset Umm Sulaym greatly. She remained devoted to her son Anas and was concerned Abut his proper upbringing. She is even reported to have said that she would not marry again until Anas approved.

When it was known that Umm Sulaym had become a widow, one man, Zayd ibn Sahl bin al-Aswad, known as Abu Talhah, resolved to become engaged to her before anyone else did. He was rather confident that Umm Sulaym would not pass him over for another. He was after all a strong and virile person who was quite rich and possessed an imposing house that was much admired. He was an accomplished horseman and a skilful archer and moreover he belonged to the same clan as Umm Sulaym.

Abu Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym’s house. On the way he recalled that she had been influenced by the preaching of Mus’ab ibn ‘Umayr (ra) and had become a Muslim. ‘So what?’ He said to himself. ‘Was not her husband who did a firm adherent of the old religion and was he not opposed to Muhammad (saw) and his mission?’ Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym’s house. He asked and was given permission to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah explained why he had come and asked for her hand in marriage. ‘A man like you Abu Talhah’ she said, ‘is not easily turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kaafir.’

Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said to her, ‘What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and white metals (gold and silver)?’ ‘Gold and silver?’ she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring tone. ‘Yes’, he said. ‘I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I swear by Allaah and his Messenger (saw) that if you accept Islaam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of Islaam as my mahr (dowry).’

Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished great attention in the same way that important men of his tribe venerated and cared for their personal idols. The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of such idol worship and she went on: ‘Don’t you know Abu Talhah, that the god you worship besides Allaah grew from the earth?’ ‘That’s true,’ he said. ‘Don’t you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices and become a Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as my husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islaam.’ ‘Who shall instruct me in Islaam?’ asked Abu Talhah. ‘I shall,’ Umm Sulaym replied. ‘How?’ ‘Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no God but Allaah and that Muhammad is his Messenger. Then go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away.’ Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He came back to her beaming with happiness. ‘I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is not God but Allaah and I declare that Muhammad is His Messenger’.

Umm Sulaym (ra) and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and the Muslims would say: ‘We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islaam her mahr.’ Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who placed his unique energies and talents in the service of Islaam. He was one of the seventy-three men who swore allegiance to the Messenger Muhammad (saw) at the second Pledge of ‘Aqabah. Abu Talhah was devoted to the Messenger (saw) and took enormous delight in simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated in all the major military campaigns.

Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym (ra) had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted to the Messenger Muhammad (saw) and the service of Muslims and Islaam. Muhammad (saw) used to visit their home often. Umm Sulaym’s husband, Abu Talhah, died while he was on a naval expedition during the time of the third Khaleef, ‘Uthmaan bin ‘Affaan, and was buried at sea.

Umm Sulaym herself was noted for her great courage and bravery. During the Battle of Uhud, she carried a dagger in the folds of her dress. She gave water to and tended the wounded and she made attempts to defend the Messenger Muhammad (saw) when the tide of battle was turning against him. At the Battle of Khandaq, the Messenger (saw) saw her carrying a dagger and he (saw) asked her what she was doing with it. She said: ‘It is to fight those who desert.’ ‘May Allaah grant you satisfaction in that,’ replied the Messenger (saw). In the face of adversity, Umm Sulaym (ra) displayed a unique calmness and strength. One of her young sons (‘Umayr) fell sick and died while her husband was away looking after his orchards. She bathed the child and wrapped him in shrouds. She told others at her home that they should not inform Abu Talhah because she herself wanted to tell him.

Umm Sulaym (ra) also had another son whose name was ‘Abdullaah. A few days after she gave birth, she sent Anas with the baby and a bag of dates to the Messenger of Allaah (saw). Muhammad (saw) placed the baby on his lap. He crushed the dates in his mouth and put some into the baby’s mouth (made Tahneek). The baby sucked the dates with relish and the Messenger (saw) said: ‘The Ansaar are only fond of dates.’ ‘Abdullaah eventually grew up and had seven children all of whom memorised the Qur’aan.

Umm Sulaym (ra) was a model Muslimah, a model wife and mother. Her belief (and actions) in Allaah (swt) was strong and uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger her faith and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury, however abundant and tempting. She was devoted to the Messenger of Allaah (saw) and dedicated her son Anas bin Maalik (ra) to his service. She (ra) took the responsibility of educating her children and she played an active part in public life, sharing with the other Muslims the hardships and the joys of building a true Islaamic community and living for the pleasure of Allaah (swt).

The Duties of the Wife

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Diamonds and Pearls

The following incident took place when Muhammed Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that are not modest. Here is the story as told in detail by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my youngest sister, Laila, and me to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sent me down in his lap and said something I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down and in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”